Rory and I met through work,  VP and HR lead meet and fall in love, quite the fairy tale.  He was living in Sydney at the time and I in Auckland with my 4 year old daughter Sophie Lee, now 8 years old.  Cutting a long story short, he took the opportunity to take early retirement from his 35+ year career to be with me.  Yes I know, fairy tale stuff. He is the romantic, where as I struggle to remember anniversary, birthday and other significant dates. We both love spending time with family, friends and each other. We talk about everything, we bounce ideas off each other and together run 3 successful businesses.

However speaking and working with other couples and families in business, they saw it as a “romantic” idea to start a business together,  but in reality its a journey that takes constant and consistent hard work, sometimes a sensitive balancing act between family and business but also very rewarding.  Their secrets to running a successful business without ending in divorce were varied, however all had the same theme –

Here’s what I have seen and heard them say –

•  Blurred Lines – Whether you are just starting out or have been in business for a while,  its always there, in the background, during dinner, in the shower, at family functions, often keeping us wakeful at night.  Easier said than done, putting business aside is often impossible when working with your spouse or family.  For families in business,  the juggling of day to day business activities regarding performance, governance and leadership challenges , financial growth and stability, and lets not forget family conflicts all feed the blurred lines. Even if family’s roles have been set as shareholders, board members, and managers it seems to be harder to respect the boundaries of workplace and family.  Couples in business face the same challenges,  however as there is only the two of you,  an agreement around boundaries is easy to make but not always easy to follow, but still easy to make.  In general boundaries are: no business talk in the bedroom, bathroom or at the dinner table.  Family time is a big NO NO as are family functions and Sundays should not be entertained at all for business stuff.

 

• Separate Roles, Responsibilities and Reporting – Be very clear with each other, staff and other shareholders as to your role or roles within the business.  DO NOT Report to each other or another family member – We have seen this time and time again,  conversations regarding personal issues, pay, benefits and performance can be hard enough as it is, let a lone with your significant other and/or family member, this also clouds your judgement and decisions are made based on emotions and not always what is best for the business.  If your a small company 20+ employees create a leadership or senior member team, create more transparency around decision making, delegate – which in turn grows others and in return minimises your direct decision making involvement with family, spouse etc.   If its just you and your significant other, separating roles and responsibilities is a must, both for family (especially if you have kids) and business matters. Using an external resource, like an HR Consultant or Business Coach is highly effective and, if I do say so myself, highly recommended.

 

• Communication – For couples in business, its key not to bottle anything up, much easier said than done but having a sounding board is key! schedule meetings, even if thats on the couch with a cuppa once the kids are in bed, or after the gym. Walking the animals is fun and a healthy enterprise, what better opportunity to discuss the days challenges or the burning issues! Whatever it is you do look for opportunities to do things together and go with the flow.  Make sure this isn’t just a dumping session, but rather try and ensure that clear actions are openly discussed and agreed on. This is also the case for families in business. To gain transparent, informative and non emotive communication we encourage family businesses to have at least 2 non family members on their board, at least 1 non family member as part of the management team AND an external coach dedicated to the family member currently leading the business. If your business is too small for this get a competent friend or someone you can both trust to join you as an intermediary.

As a close to this post remember why you started your own business, keep your “Why” and your Goals uppermost in your minds and have fun, after all you decided to “Sack the Boss” so you could do things your way and not be answerable to anyone who didn’t have you and your families best interests at heart. We look forward to the opportunity of giving you a more personal and specific life and business plan, best wishes Rory & Carlene…..

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